WTB Lie detector

I shared a story with you before of me acting as the guilds noob filter.. trying to filter out the bad applies in advance. Now sometimes i aint there so i can't stop them all but the other Officers and the Classleaders have had their share of horrible applies aswell.

It's quite funny what you can dig up on people when checking out other guilds forums. Often guilds have an open recruitment forum (we don't personally)
and you check out if someone has been turned down before or that he/she is betting on more then one horse.
We had a reasonable apply this week from a healer, he wasn't English so his use of words was a bit strange as the one who took his apply told us. However he understood things well enough in the eyes of the one who took his apply.
Someone started googling and found an apply of this guy... he had to answer a dozen of questions and he clearly didn't understand half of them.
My noob sense started tingling once again!

Last week i talked to a Rogue in a whisper who wanted a spot. One of the members directed him to me, first thing i do is check out the armory for his gear. Now he had just 1 Green, 3 Blues and the rest was Epic.. mostly from PvP and some from Karazhan.
He told me that he had a full epic kit so i told him i could actually see his gear on the armory. I got some lame excuse that he did have epics but he rather was wearing the blues for the hitrating.
Now the fact that he knew the benefit of hit did give him some points... the fact that even with these blues his total hitrating was 11 lost him quite a few more. This combined with the use of Green quality gems and some missing enchants made sure this apply was a short one.

The week before i actually had a good apply. Someone in full epic kit, had raiding experience (not just Kara but full SSC and TK aswell) and had his gear properly gemmed and enchanted. His English was perfect aswell and he wasn't 16 like the average Rogue.
He passed the Noob filter and i told him a CL would be in touch with him, probably in a few days.
I made a post on the forums and had a good feeling about this.
An hour or so later he whispered me again that the Classleader hadn't contacted him yet... uhm, okay? My sense went tingling all of the sudden but as i was in a bad mood which might have affected that i gave him the benefit of the doubt. Apparently he DC'd during our talk and missed that.
Well okay then.
But during that day he whispered me about every two hours, often with the dumbest questions or informing me that the CL (which name i mentioned to him) hadn't come online yet. The next evening this happened a few times more so i revisited my own post on the forum to inform the others that we could forget this guy, pretend i never posted this one ok?
He told me he was booted from his previous raidingguild after being away for a few week due to RL issues, i'm suspecting he simply ran out of Ritalin.

The last apply we got was ended pretty fast with some simple detective work aswell. He told the CL he was 16 (which is already a bit young to our taste due to previous bad experiences) and the CL found out he had applied to another guild 6 months earlier when he was still 14.
Now i've heared of growspurts but this was obviously a lie, another apply went through the shredder.
At least applies like these keep me entertained on those slow moments during raids.