The noob filter

Thats me.. the noob filter! Many of the applies to our guild get by me lately if it's a "stray" apply. My job is pretty simple and even some fun now and then: filter out the noobs and give them a quick no. That saves them alot of time but also the other officers and classleaders. Potential candidates are forwarded to the correct CL once the get past me, we've got the luxury where we can be select on who we invite. :)

So yesterday it was time to test the filter again as i got a whisper:
him: "Hey mate i am sorry for distributing you but do you have 1 moment ?"
me: "I am about to start on Kael but if you don't mind a silence now and then, go ahead :)"
Now it's pretty obvious he's looking for a guildspot to me so i check his guild (shift-click name) and go check out his profile on the armory.
I liked the use of distributing instead of disturbing here, giving me a clue he aint English by nature or simply not too bright :P

It remains quiet for a good 5mins...
him: "Hey mate i am sorry for distributing you but do you have 1 moment ?"
I was tempted to end the conversation right there but i decided to give him the benefit of the doubt here... at least he took time to prepare his conversation as he obviously cut&pasted that message.
Before i answered i checked his guildname once again as i forgot what it was and now he was guildless suddenly, weird.
me: "Scroll up m8, i've already answered that question"
him: "my bro retarts my comp so i didnt see will you repeat it?"
Hmm.. a retarded computer, nice typo. Anyway he messed up his good first impression thus far.
me: "Starting on a boss now so might be some silence now and then but give it a shot ;)"
him: "I will ask ya now and you respond when ya can"
him: "OK look, i would like to join Elysium because there is nice ppl and dont execpt to get raid every day i would like to raid when ya can give me a chance i help ppl when i can also and i am not spammer really would like to join that guild , Thanks"
Hmm.. not the way i would have typed it, how many sentences are that supposed to be exactly?
Like i said i checked out his profile right away which tells alot about a person, this person had some nice PvP epics and even two early Karazhan ones but he didn't bother enchant most of his stuff and used no or just green gems.
The most shocking to me was a hitrating of 38 which aint even enough for PvP imo.

I was quite quick in responding:
me: "well i'm afraid we dont have a hunter opening atm m8"
me: "and too be honest, your gear is missing some essentials aswell"
him: ":S omg i hate this stupid server i will move of this bull shit"
Ow lol, we got ourselves a dramaqueen here. Anyone wanna guess his age?
me: "lol"
him: "not funny"
him: "always same story"
him: "we not take hunters bla bla bla"
him: "its ok"
Now i lol'd at this guy as it pointed out straight away i made the right choice, but as i felt a bit sorry for the guy:
me: "i can give you a few pointers on how to improve your gear and stuff so you have a better chance at a different guild if you want?"
me: "Make sure all your gear is enchanted and gemmed with blue gems. Also crank up that hitrating to at least 115 imo"
him: "I did not have time to get money as i was pvping all the time mate"
Did this guy not ever raid or what? Does he expect easy epics or what? Pots, Flasks and repaircosts can get sky high when raiding.. not even talking about the expensive enchants and gems you will need on new gear.
me: "raiding is expensive m8"
him: "ok mate i understand you like all others to say me always why the hell i asked to join ...thx and cya"
Not a very positive attitude and he was not gonna do anything with the advice i was willing to give him so i didn't bother with him any longer and ended with "cya"

Now such talks aint funny all the time, people can start foulmouting or just offer a boring chat... but at times you will have a real nice chat with someone or a quite funny one. Makes it worth my time.